Several of my coaching clients have come to me with questions that they weren’t sure were within our scope of coach and coachee. When I ask if it plays into their eating behaviors and exercise, most often it does.

For example, if you struggle with feelings of self-worth and every time you say yes to somebody else — to prove yourself, to feel validated, to feel important — you say no to your healthy habits, then that needs to be addressed. If you try to eat in a healthy way but your boss yells at you and then you go home and binge because you don’t have proper communication skills, that is something that needs to be addressed.

My coaching clients ask, “Heather, is this really important for us to talk about? Is this really going to help me with my weight loss?” My response is to ask, “How does it impact your relationship with food and your view of yourself? How does it influence your decisions on whether or not you’re going to take care of yourself?” Answering these questions will let you know if you need to address it.

You have to look at your life holistically. If you’re struggling, it’s not just because you haven’t managed to get the right calories or macros or points, or because you don’t have the right workout program. I wish it were that simple because it would be an easier problem to fix. The real reasons are those other things that happen on a daily basis that knock you off your game and cause you to run into the arms of food and/or feel bad about yourself, which leads to not wanting to do whatever healthy habit it is that you’re working on.

I’m going to challenge you this week to look at all the life factors that go into why you choose to do what you choose to do. When you’re feeling lonely, do you turn to food? When you don’t have constructive things to do at night with your time, do you try to entertain yourself by going out to eat and eating large quantities of fun food?

I encourage you to go a layer deeper; don’t stay on the surface. Ask yourself, “Why is it I do what I do with food? What are the situations that trip me up, and where is that coming from?” Then try to figure out some ways to start handling those situations differently.